ROUTINE AND CONSISTENCY | WIN THE DAY PLANNER - Dan Rigby

[00:00:00] Speaker A: We can't get mad and say student athletes have changed because they haven't changed. What we expect of them has changed. If there's a reason why students are dealing with higher levels of anxiety, it's because of us. If they're dealing with identity crisis, it's because of us. If they're dealing with specialization in sports, it's because of us. Like, we're the parents. We're the adults here. They only do what we let them do. [00:00:37] Speaker B: Welcome back to another edition of Unleashed Athletics. I'm your host, Brian Bond. So excited for the episode that we have in front of you. You know, I've been trying to get Dan Rigby on my show for a little bit of time now, and our schedule has just never connected. But today is the day Dan Rigby joins us, the owner of Win the day planner, a coach, an educator, a man that can really talk about the space that we're in as a total. Again, just so excited to have him. Dan, thanks so much for joining us today. [00:01:12] Speaker A: Yeah, Brian, thanks for having me. Super excited to be here. I'm zooming from a hotel room on the road right now, but when you, when you reached out to connect today, I said I couldn't miss this opportunity. Again, so super excited to be here, and I appreciate you having me. [00:01:25] Speaker B: Thanks for making the time for me. Dan's at a conference right now with athletic directors. So again, just speaking directly into the space that we're talking about as a whole, Dan, like I said, is the owner of the win the day planner. We will talk about that a little bit later in the episode. But, Dan, I want them to understand who you are as a whole, so give them a little look into your coaching, into your education career, and a little bit into your ownership now. [00:01:54] Speaker A: Yeah, I don't want to take up too much time with this because this is a relatively long story. I didn't go to school to be a teacher. I don't have a teaching degree. I was a mediocre wrestler at best. But I felt like as time went on, my calling was working with young adults, young student athletes became a teacher. I was a special education teacher for five years, and then I moved into the space of phys ed, as every young teacher wants to do is jump into the phys ed world. Coached wrestling at the high school level. I was a brand new head coach at the age of 22 years old. I took over a really successful program and I drove it straight into the ground. Didn't know what I was doing. I thought I knew what I was doing. I had the luxury of having a lot of really good mentors and people guiding me, and so I was, you know, lucky enough to win three state championships as a coach and be in the state finals a couple other times. And so we had a pretty good run of success in my wrestling programs. But I love teaching. It's what I love to do. I'm a PE teacher now, and I tell everybody, you know, my Mondays and my Saturdays look the same, and that sounds very cliche, and people say things all the time they don't really mean. I literally mean it. And my colleagues are like, it's Monday. Why are you so positive? And I say, it's Monday. Why aren't you? You know, it's like, it's just who I am. I love to teach. I love working with student athletes. I think it's just my calling. And so when you know what you're called to do, it's not really work. Yeah. [00:03:15] Speaker B: So, a mediocre wrestler, I believe, is what you said. Your words, not mine, turned into a coach. What inspired you to get to that place where you said, I'm an okay wrestler, but I want a coach? [00:03:28] Speaker A: Yeah. So I was a little bit better than okay. I had a really tough loss in the state finals as a senior, and I knew that some of the things that caused me to lose that match were self inflicted. I put a lot of pressure on myself. Nobody put pressure on me. I wasn't mentally prepared for. I was wrestling not to lose rather than wrestling to win. And I kind of looked back and I said, you know, I don't want anybody to go through this. This was not fun for me. So I wanted to be able to kind of. I don't want to say, live vicariously through those student athletes. Cause that's not what I was doing. But I wanted to make sure that I gave people the chance that I didn't give myself. I had the best coaches in the entire world. I had the best support system in the entire world. It was a model. It was me. It was 100% me. And I really wanted to be able to make sure that the student athletes that I was working with were the best versions of themselves and did things right and also really learned that the sport is what you do. It's not who you are. And I think I really struggled with that. When I got done wrestling, I was Dan the wrestler instead of Dan the really good human being who liked to help other people and really had a purpose in life. So I wanted to really get in the business of growing young men and young women in terms of wrestling and through the sports, that was really it. That was that transition for me. [00:04:48] Speaker B: That's a beautiful story, too, and I think one that you hear in coaching pretty often of something happened during my career, and I wanted to give back, and I think that's always a sweet story. You spoke about trying to give the best experience to a kid or a kid, making sure that they become the best version of themselves. How did you experience that when you were wrestling? How did a coach draw that out of you, that you would be the best version of yourself? [00:05:15] Speaker A: Yeah. I mean, I was really blessed to have a set of coaches over my career that were literally the best. I couldn't have asked for better coaches, but I was also really blessed to have parents who instilled in me that being a good person always outweighs being a good wrestler. Giving back to your community and lending a helping hand to the person who's down on their luck right then. And how are you communicating with people and the words that you're saying have power for good and bad? And so I wanted to be the person that, when people sat in the stands, they rooted for me, not because I was a good wrestler, but because I was a good human being. So I've said that to a lot of my athletes before. People don't always remember your credentials, but they'll always remember the way you make them feel, good or bad. Those are the things that stick with people. If you're not being cognizant of how you're living your life and what you're doing, who you're impacting, then you're doing a disservice to not only yourself, but the people around you. And at the end of the day, I think that's significantly more important than the actual sport itself. I know that's probably not the most popular opinion, but nobody will remember how many matches I ever won in high school. I do. I'm the only person. Nobody else will ever remember that. They'll remember if I acted like a jerk on the mat or if I was picking on someone who was a lesser wrestler or, you know, making a mockery out of a lesser opponent. People remember those things, and somehow they never forget them. And they put you, they put that experience, and they tie it to your identity. That's the kid who always picked on the lesser wrestler, or that's the kid who always showed a lot of class. I always wanted to be the person who showed a lot of class. [00:06:51] Speaker B: Yeah. And there's not enough of those people cognizantly trying to do that on a daily basis right now. And that actually transitions us pretty well, I would say, because I want to hear about now moving into coaching. What types of things were you instilling into those athletes to make sure that you were getting the type of athlete that you wanted to be, but more importantly, the type of person that we need these young men to become in order for our future to prosper. [00:07:21] Speaker A: Yeah, two really big things here, Brian. Number one, I would love to sit here in front of you today and say over my, I don't know, 15 or 17 years of coaching, I always was person first and character first. I wasn't. I just wasn't right. Like my first couple years, I really wanted to win. All I cared about was winning, and my athletes suffered because of it. I was 22 years old, and I didn't know what I didn't know. And so when I focused on the outcomes instead of the process, somehow my team's never met those outcomes that I wanted, if that makes sense. When I became more process oriented, the process of self improvement, the process of how you're carrying yourself in practice and, you know, before a match and things like that, all of a sudden the outcomes started to change and we started to win. And I was like, this is. I don't know if this is ironic or if this is just the way it's supposed to be, but, you know, for me, sportsmanship was always a big thing. But, like community, giving back to your community and going out and being a face in the community and showing that this is what our program is representative of is giving back and being a servant leader. How you do something is how you do everything. And if anything worth doing is worth doing well. All of those little things that, you know, coaches talk about a lot now, those were staples in my program. But I also want to say that I also experienced this over a couple years, that I had to realize that I had to be the best version of myself in order to give that to my athletes. And I think oftentimes as coaches, it's a do as I say, not as I do kind of thing. And I don't sit here and pretend to be perfect, but I became a significantly better coach when I became a better person, human being. Right? Like, I had a lot of bad habits. I was dumb. I was young. I had to be a better version of me in order to give that. I always make the joke. I watched Baywatch. We weren't allowed to watch Baywatch growing up, but there was a scene where the lifeguard used the body to shield themselves against the pie line, and they got a lot of crap for it. And they said, what did you do that for? And he's like, I couldn't save that person if I couldn't save myself. So I always say to people, you can't give what you don't have if you're not living a life that's credible and wholesome, like, you're doing your athletes a disservice because it's not genuine. And so I had to learn that the hard way. [00:09:39] Speaker B: You get to choose between that and glory, right in your own mind, winning that state championships, glory. And when you put those two things up to themselves, you oftentimes choose glory because it's shinier, shiny, it's better. And I think that's hard. [00:09:57] Speaker A: The world we live in right now is we honor and cherish and recognize all the shiny things, and we don't always recognize those things that are not shiny. Like, practicing hard every day is not shiny. Putting your highlight reel on Instagram is really easy. But, like, show me when you don't have highlights in practice, and I'll really show you. You'll tell me a lot about yourself when you're showing me the rest of your film in practice. And so, my last year coaching, we didn't win a state championship. My team was good, but they weren't that good. It was the most enjoyable season I've ever coached, ever, ever, ever. Because everything we did was just right. The young adults were just. They worked the right way, they served the right way, they communicated with one another the right way. They were good siblings. They were good. It was just, everything was right. And so it was the most fulfilling year I've ever had in my coaching career. And we didn't win. We got second. Who wants to get second? Nobody wants to get second. I would take that ten times out of ten because of the way we did it. [00:10:51] Speaker B: Yeah. Culture today would say, it's the first loser, I believe, is how people. [00:10:55] Speaker A: I'm cool with that. [00:10:59] Speaker B: But you knocked on something that we talk about all the time on the show. Culture. What you're defining right now is your team finally got it. They got all the culture pieces that you put in place. And when it all came together, win, loss, or otherwise, you experience true, probably joy and peace. Is that fair? [00:11:19] Speaker A: Yeah. Yeah. And I think, really, the key word there is peace. And I want to go back to another year I coached in 2018. My team had a fantastic culture that year. I mean, fantastic. And we were not the better team in the state. We weren't even probably the second best team in the state. We were probably the third or fourth best team. But our culture was so sound, and it was full team effort. We won a state championship the next year. I returned almost everybody from my team. Best team I've ever coached in my life. Worst culture I've ever had in my life. And it was. That was a year that I was not living. You know, I was single, I was out. I was doing these things, and, like, all this stuff was just not good. And I couldn't understand why my team wasn't performing the way that I wanted them to. And when I talk about it a lot, when you look in the mirror, it's like you drove that culture that way. You were the. You were the driver of that bus. Not to steal a John Gordon quote, but, like, I drove that bus and I wrecked it because I didn't. My culture was bad because of me. Fast forward to 2022. We lost, but our culture was great, and it was fulfilling, rewarding and everything that I think when you're process oriented, you hope for, and if you get the outcome, that's great, too. Like, I was, you know, nobody wants to get second place, but I felt at peace about what we had did because I knew we did it the right way. And funny enough, the following weekend, we actually go backwards in Delaware, we go states, and then a conference tournament. We beat the team that beat us in the state championship. And it was like. But it brought a lot of peace. I think the way you described it was perfect. It was brought peace. [00:12:49] Speaker B: To speak further into the John Gordon piece, you're either coaching it or you're allowing it to happen. [00:12:54] Speaker A: Exactly. [00:12:55] Speaker B: And we talk about that with the coaches all the time on the podcast of as much as we want to point the finger at a bad egg in the bunch or whatever, we usually have to be pointing the finger right at us as coaches because we know whether or not we're allowing that thing to happen, we can shut it down that fast if we want to, and we choose not to. Like you said, it might have been a moment in time in your life. It also might have been, I don't have to work as hard this year. I got. I got the team that's going to win regardless of what I do. What you end up learning is you allowed guys to get away with things that might be life altering later down the road. [00:13:32] Speaker A: Yeah. And, Brian, I don't want to go down a tangent here, but this is so important. And I live this in the teaching world right now. I'm in a public school, big school. What we allow in the classroom only manifest in the bigger problems down the road. And, you know, what we allow in our programs, I always say little bad habits, little bad habits and little good habits turn into either big rewards or big disappointments. And it's really up to, I think we, you can. You can still hold students accountable. You know, this world that we live in right now is showing grace, and I'm all about that stuff. I love all that. But you can still coach kids really hard and you can still hold them accountable. And I think nine times out of ten, they love it and they want it. That year, I was very permissive of things that I knew weren't right. I just kind of turned a blind eye because I thought that if I would have addressed it, it could have compromised what was coming down the road of winning a championship. And I didn't address it, and it still cost me. So it always comes back to you. [00:14:31] Speaker B: Well, dan, I would say the ownership you're taking in this shows the type of coach that you are or were or wherever were. But there's not enough coaches out there that when they can perspectively look at a season, be able to say, I didn't do good enough. There are oftentimes saying I should have done more practicing, I should have brought up. Rarely are they looking internally and saying, that wasn't a good enough experience from me. I need to do better. So kudos to you on that. I want to go backwards just a touch. You got into practices and making sure that they were working hard and do it like you can grind them if you need to. I don't think people understand the difficulty of wrestling in general. I think when people, if you've never wrestled before, you think it's a bunch of kids on the ground grappling and having a good time. I want to open up the floor to you for just a minute here to tell everybody how difficult the sport of wrestling actually is. [00:15:36] Speaker A: Yeah, I think, you know, I think everybody knows it's tough, right? It's a physically demanding sport. You have this idea that, you know, you have to manage your weight and all these things, but I think when you put everything together, it's physically grueling. It's winter time, so it's dark when you leave the house. It's dark when you get home. It's cold. You're managing your weight. You're not able to indulge on two holidays, Thanksgiving and Christmas, most of the time. So you're dealing with that piece, the stress level that a lot of these athletes deal with in terms of, you know, having to compete against teammates to earn their spot with a wrestle off. But then the stress of it's just you and somebody else, right? And there's no hiding. If you're the. If you're the offensive guard in football and you miss a block, like, yeah, film will show it on Monday, but, like, not everybody will see it. If you mess up on a mat in front of a thousand people, everybody like, there's no hiding. There's no hiding. So the stress level goes way up there, and then you couple it with all those other things that I just mentioned. And mentally, wrestling is really, really tough. And the highest achieving wrestlers are normally the wrestlers who have built this resilience and this mindset where they can do all of these things and still be able to perform. And that's not easy to do. You can have some success just by being athletic, but to be the top dogs that just had the Olympic trials this past weekend, to be able to see those guys and girls compete at that level, there's so many different factors that go into it that I think a lot of people don't always recognize that that really contribute to not just small term success, but consistency in wrestling is really, really difficult. [00:17:20] Speaker B: I would agree 100%. The other thing that I enjoy about wrestlers, they are students of the game. When they are at tournaments, when they are wrestling duels, whatever it might be, they are always studying other people and what their moves are. And you don't get that in every single sport. Sometimes you can get away, like you said, with athleticism. But wrestling is so tactical that these kids are always looking at what's the next best move that I can add or that I can be focused on to make sure it can't be used against me. I just really appreciate that about wrestlers as a whole. [00:17:55] Speaker A: The higher the level, the more that's really shown. You know, there's a lot of coaches who say, just do. Do what you do really well. And I think that's really true if you're really, really good. But I think wrestling is one of those things that's such a. It's such a matchup, stylistic sport where Brian can be really good at this and I can be really good at this, and I might be a better overall wrestler, but that style, it's just kind of like MMA, right? Where we. MMA is the big thing now, the jujitsu guys, if they can get the. If they can get the fight to the ground, they have a chance. But if they stand up and strike, and it's all those things come into play and wrestling's no difference. Just, you just take away getting punched in the face, you know, you can't do that. [00:18:31] Speaker B: So the other thing I wanted to mention was you mentioned those high caliber wrestlers. They're not just great at wrestling. They are usually great human beings as well. Best wrestlers that I've ever met. They are always the ones to look you in the eye, shake your hand, thank you for opening your facilities. They're just all around good people. Has that been your experience as well? [00:18:55] Speaker A: I want to say it's the norm. There are some exceptions to it, right? There's always exceptions to it. But if you looked at the guys and girls who competed recently in the Olympic trials, you listen to their interviews afterwards and it tells you a lot about their character. There's always this sense of gratitude. They're very grateful. You mentioned that, about thanking you for opening. They're grateful for their competitors. That's a great competitor. I wouldn't be here today if it wasn't for them pushing me. They've made me better. They always speak of being good human beings. There's always, you know, wrestling has this. The top achieving wrestlers have a big element of faith. A lot of them have a big element of faith, which helps them relax and things of that nature, and they speak openly about those things. But, yeah, you know, I agree. And it is a, it's a. The higher achieving wrestlers typically have a higher moral compass and a greater purpose for what they're doing. And I think it helps them when they win, but it helps them a lot when they lose, too, because they recognize that this is not, again, wrestling is what I do, and I love every minute of it, but it doesn't define who I am as a human being, as a father, as a husband, as a community member. And I think when you hear people, we need more of that. You don't always hear that from other sports, but wrestling is very big into that. And that's one of the reasons why I love the sport as much as I do. [00:20:14] Speaker B: And I would say in today's generation especially, which will help us segue a little bit. Identity crisis is real for them because they're doing more than they've ever done in a single sport, or maybe a couple of sports. But identity crisis is real. And if you're not careful, you get sucked into the trap and all of a sudden, wins and losses defines how your week's gonna go rather than, this is just a part of my week. This is a part of who I. What I get to do. And speak into that a little bit of what you see, the landscape of high school athletes. What does that landscape look like to you right now? [00:20:50] Speaker A: Wow. Okay, Brian, I might ruffle a few feathers here. I think Frank Martin, I don't know if he's still there. The basketball coach at the University of South Carolina put it best, one of my absolute best press conferences, when they asked if kids have changed. And he said, kids haven't changed. Kids have been the same forever. We as adults have changed. And I think when you coach really hard and you set standards and you set these expectations, students will always. Athletes will always meet those expectations, or they'll move on. Right. The landscape of sports right now is scary to me because there is an identity crisis, and the identity crisis is like, I'm going and playing ten games this weekend, then I'm gonna go back and play ten more games next weekend. And we're eight and two, and it's really about how many games are we winning out of them. There's a reason why this veterans car ride home, higher levels of anxiety. We're running because of us. If they're dealing with identity crisis, and I'm not saying if they're dealing with a specialization in sports, it's because of us. Like, we're the parents. We're the adults here. They only do what we let them do. Right? And I. And I say that sometimes to my students when I. When I'm really come to, I say, you guys, I don't mean to. This is any disrespect. You guys are dumb. You'll only do what we let you do, like. And they laugh about it, and they're like, yeah, you're right. I say so as the old people like me get mad about students today, it's not them. It's us. It's us. So when we talk about increased pressure on students, it's us. We're the ones that do it, right. And I think a lot of times, it comes from a place of love, and you want what's best for them. And so when they get done, you know, losing two to one in a soccer game and they missed a PK to win, and, you know, on the way home, you spend the 20 minutes talking to them about how they can change their approach to the ball and all these other things, and all the kids thinking about is, I just. I want to go get ice cream. You know, I want to. I want to go home and ride bike for my friends. But instead, this car ride home has now turned into a process of critiquing your kid. Like, I always say this, too, when dogs pee on the car, but they know what they did is wrong. They always look at you funny. Like, that kid knows that he missed a PK. So does everybody else in the entire place. But that car ride home can be dangerous. That's a long winded response. I think the world that we live in, the space, is, like you said it earlier, it's the wild, wild west, and if we want to take it back and make it, you know, it's a pendulum swing. So maybe we'll come back and we'll say, maybe we'll back off a little bit. I don't know. But I think at the end of the day, anything that's happening in high school and youth sports right now is 100% on us. We decide where it goes, and we're dictating where it goes right now, so. [00:23:29] Speaker B: Well, I think it's a great answer, too, that the reflection point might not be on the student themselves. It might be the people instructing the students, you know, and it starts with parents. It goes to coaches, it goes to trainers, it goes to private, whatever route you want to go down. But I want to double down on it then and ask you the question. What's the message you would send to parents then? [00:23:50] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:23:51] Speaker B: Or coaches. Like, it doesn't matter who you directed at, I guess, but who. What. What message would you send to them with the way that you see sports going right now? [00:24:01] Speaker A: Yeah. So I. So I'm a teacher, and I think you just mentioned this. I always say I want to start with the end in mind when I teach lessons, when I plan lessons, I want to start with the end of month. What is my goal? My goal is for student athletes to, or my students to really understand pickleball on a surface level and get some love out of it. That's my. That's my goal. So I plan my lessons to not be super in depth about rules and things. Like, I want them to have fun. I want them to figure it out. I want them to move. That's what I want them to do. I think all parents and coaches need to do the same thing at the end of the day, like, you know, what. What do I want to achieve from this? If I'm a coach, I want to achieve a state championship, then everything should be going towards doing state championship type things. But if you want to grow young adults into better human beings and secondary will be the state championship, then you need to really put your focus on teaching them how to be servant leaders and teaching them what it means to communicate with one another and teaching them how to take accountability. And maybe you don't want to talk to their parents. You want to talk to them when they have a question. And I think the parents are the same way. You know, if you are real about your. I want my student to go d one. Okay, cool. Well, then here's what it looks like for all these people who have gone d one. Are you willing to do these things? And not only are you willing to do these things, are you willing to put your child through those things? And if you can answer yes, that's a parent, that's a parental decision. I can't argue with that. Like, that happens and that's a great thing. I also think you both need to be on board with it because if you want it more than your, your student athlete, it's, it's going to cause a big problem in your relationship and you can't get that relationship back. I think being really honest about what it is that you want, why you want it, and how are you going to get there. I think those three things are crucial. And I think those conversations can, can be had and should be had often. And I think they can change. I think it's always like, hey, when you were in 8th grade, remember, we talked. You wanted to go to Duke and play basketball and we did all the things necessary. We were at travel ball tournaments every single weekend, playing ten games and practiced four nights a week. And then you told me when you were a sophomore that, dad, this is not, this is not fun for me anymore. I don't know that I want. Then, okay, let's go back. Because at the end of the day, this relationship that you and I have is way more important than you going to do. Let's figure out what it is that we want to do together as a family. And I think, I just think communication, goal setting and the process. I think we ask athletes to do that. Why don't we ask the parents to have to do that? You know? So that would be my recommendation. [00:26:31] Speaker B: Parents, you are still in control of this conversation. It is not the coach of the team that you made. It is not the coach of the high school program. You are the deciding factor while that kid is underneath your household on how this is going to play out. And I love the fact that you said, and we need to reevaluate along the way it might not be because you're not having fun anymore. It might be, hey, you're 16 now, and you have a car. [00:27:02] Speaker A: That'S, you know, like. [00:27:03] Speaker B: Yeah. And I think every time you, you change the variables, you've got to reevaluate whether or not this is the right thing for you. [00:27:11] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:27:11] Speaker B: And I think, parents, I hope you hear this clearly. What a great message from Dan of, you are in control. You are the primary educator of your child's life, and you need to be held responsible and want that responsibility of what your child's life is going to look like from age one to 18 or whatever, that that length of time is going to be in those goal settings, which we'll get into here in a second, because this is where Dan's passion comes out more than anything, is really a great starting point, and let's actually get into it. Dan, like I said at the beginning of the show, owner of the win, the day planner, and I actually stole something off of your LinkedIn profile, which said unlocking full potential with the power of planning. And when you start to think about that, and it really does segue us really, really well. How did you get to a place where you understood that this planning with a goal in mind, so on and so forth, where down the line did you figure out, man, if students would just figure this out, their experience would be way better. [00:28:21] Speaker A: Yeah, there's two spaces. I was speaking with athletic directors about this earlier. Why don't you come up with this? And I said, number one, when I got done coaching, I was working with some student athletes in my school, and I realized that, that they have some great answers. We'd meet once a week, 06:00 a.m. Before school, which is a feat in itself, to get students to get up at 06:00 a.m. And come meet you in a school cafeteria when you're not offering breakfast. I started to recognize that although they were great in the things that they were saying, they weren't great in everything else for an hour, they were fantastic. Show me those other 23 hours. And so I wanted to put something into place that they could be reflective and kind of bring awareness to. And you and I talked about this. You are what your 24 hours show. So if your 24 hours are showing a wholesome life, then you're a wholesome person. If your 24 hours are not showing that, then you're just not. And so I'm not holier than thou. I still struggle. That's the thing. I struggle with the other part that really, that really played a factor for me. And I feel guilty sometimes saying this, but during COVID you know, we shut down in Delaware, and I watched my students and my athletes really, really struggle with no school, no socialization, lack of sleep. And so during COVID I got really big into morning routine and structure, and I knew that I needed to be able to do. I'm a product of structure. Like, I hate spring breaks, I don't like Christmas breaks because it takes away my routine. I was really big on my morning routines and morning gratitude and, you know, kind of, you know, my morning devotionals, all this stuff. And if this stuff worked for me. Cause my maturity level is about the same as my high school students sometimes. So if that worked for me, I knew that it would work for my athletes and my students. Really, that experience during COVID where I feel like I became a better person during COVID and a better teacher and a better coach and a better leader, coupled with my field experience with these athletes, I just felt like I really needed to provide them with a tool, a tangible tool, where they could look at what their 24 hours kind of was made up of. [00:30:24] Speaker B: What a great story. Because I think there are two stories out there with COVID One of them is worst time of my life. Not sure I'm fully out of it yet. And then the other story is exactly what you're talking about. What can I do to make sure that something like this never happens again? [00:30:40] Speaker A: Correct. And I think being there, being the coach, I need to be the best version for me because my student athletes, my athletes were lost. I mean, lost. And so I needed to make sure I was good so I could be good for them. [00:30:54] Speaker B: We probably haven't talked about that enough along the way. I don't know that enough people checked in on coaches during COVID We were so worried about kids and how to get them back playing and back in the classroom and everything else that we didn't take time to say, hey, coach, you doing okay? We just took your favorite thing away from you. You okay? And I'm not sure that happened enough along the way. [00:31:17] Speaker A: I'm going to say something else that's going to ruffle feathers. And I think. I think as principals, I hope principals aren't watching this, but I think principals need to do. You know, principals always say, I'm student first, and I think they're wrong. I think they should be teachers first. Like, I think athletic directors shouldn't be athlete first. I think they should be coaches first. Because if you're not supporting those coaches, they're your direct link to your student athletes. And I know it sounds a little bit mean and harsh in leadership. If your coach is really good, then you know, those 30 athletes underneath of them are going to be really good. But no matter what you do as the ad, if that coach isn't good, you're going to be doing damage control nonstop. Same thing with principals. If you're like, I focus on kids, I focus on kids. You got 2000 kids in a building. How many are you going to be able to focus on? How about we focus on the 200 teachers, you know, or the 150 teachers because they're your direct link. I think you hit the nail on the head that I don't think we. As a colleague, I didn't do a good enough job making sure my assistant coaches were okay. I just assume they were all like me. They weren't. They just weren't, you know? [00:32:18] Speaker B: And it's easy to just say that, too. I know I'm not good. They're not good, but we know that. So let's not talk any further about it. Such a. I mean, I'll throw men out there on this, but, like, that's such a guy thing to do. [00:32:31] Speaker A: I'm not good. [00:32:32] Speaker B: You're not good. We're not talking about it. [00:32:33] Speaker A: Yep, exactly. [00:32:34] Speaker B: Well, let's get into your planner a little bit. Give the audience a little scope of what this plan planner really is about, how an athlete can succeed using it. [00:32:45] Speaker A: Yeah, I want to. The best way to describe it, it's a journal slash planner. Right. It is equal parts kind of reflection and mindfulness and writing and free journaling and. Academic athletic planner. Right. So in the mornings we wake up and we have a morning section where you're writing down morning gratitude, you're writing down your focus word, you're tracking your screen time from the day before, you're tracking your sleep pattern. And again, not to be like, you know, diagnosing problems, but just more bringing awareness to it. Right. I'm going to bed at 1130 and I'm waking up at 530. Maybe that's not enough time. Or I can flip back three chapters and see, the last three weeks, I haven't been getting enough sleep. Right. Then we move into the school based part where it's all your academic stuff. Let's stay balanced and let's stay on task. And on top of our academics, I think a lot of times what our student athletes deal with, especially during season, is they get a little bit behind in a class, missing the test. And next thing you know, it spirals out of control, and it just compounds problem, problem, problem, problem, problem. And they don't know how to handle it. We really want to stay ahead of that. We have areas in there to write, makeup assignments. And then the next section of your daily planner is your practice stuff, your athletics. You know, coach has a plan for practice today. But within that plan, let me be really intentional about. You know, I work with a lot of baseball teams. Let me be very intentional about seeing the ball in my glove. I know I'm struggling with that. Coach has a plan for hitting. Let me really work on my turning on that inside pitch or whatever it may be. So bringing. We're just trying to bring some intentional thought, being very focused on things rather than just floating through. How about, like, how to be a better teammate? We talk a lot about these things, but let's write down tangible ideas that, hey, I know Brian's really struggling at the plate. Let me go talk to Brian today and see how he's doing. You know, he's going through it. But also, there's a reflection piece. What did I do well today? What do I need to improve on? So the best way I can describe it is it's an academic athletic journal slash planner. It really is meant to bring awareness to everything you do during your day and help you to be the best version of yourself. So the coach can coach the best version of you. And I think that's really important. [00:34:50] Speaker B: You mentioned the word gratitude in the morning. Why is gratitude important? [00:34:55] Speaker A: Man, we live in a society that is just riddled with negativity, you know, and whatever you're looking for, you find it. If you look for negativity, you're gonna find it. But if you look for gratitude and if you look for things to be grateful for, you're gonna find that, too. And when you start your day with that, it's not possible to be negative and grateful at the same time. And that was one of the things I really took from. From COVID It was hard to find things that to be grateful for during COVID But when I really started to look for them, you know what? I'm healthy. I don't always feel the best about it, but I'm healthy. My family's healthy. I still have a job. They haven't eliminated my job. When I started looking at things like that, I'm like, wow, this is, you know, I can be grateful for this. And so I think for student athletes, teaching them that skill at a very early age is really important because it'll transcend athletics, it'll transcend high school, it'll transcend college, and it just puts you in, like, you know, my colleagues sometimes get annoyed with me because you're just always positive. I'm like, yeah, I got a lot to be grateful for. Like, I'm a teacher. Teachers don't make any money. And I'm like, I still love it. It's my favorite. I get to play all day. Like, why wouldn't I be grateful? So I think teachings, you know, that despite what the world tells us, that everything's terrible and negative. And I'm not saying there aren't bad things out there, but, like, you control your own vision of how you see things. And again, like, it's not that we're just going to gloss over all the bad things that are happening in the world, but there's still a lot of really good stuff going on, and there's a lot to be grateful for. I think everybody should really challenge themselves to experience that. [00:36:27] Speaker B: I agree. I think the mental side of thinking positively all the time keeps you way healthier, way healthier when you have a positive mindset. So, as annoying as you might be to your colleagues, I guarantee the reason why you're annoying is because they don't always find all those good things that you are. You are writing down on a daily basis that that mental psyche is huge in order to be successful on a daily basis, I believe. So I kind of teed you up on that one, because gratitude is one of the most important things we can do throughout an entire day. And if you were to start the morning and finish the night, I just don't know how you could go to wake up the next morning and not feel a ton of gratitude all over again. Of, man. I went to bed thinking about the amazing things that happened. I'm waking up. I'm writing down what I'm grateful for again, and let's go get the next day because I'm about to crush it. Really appreciate that that's in there. And that's a part of the structure that you guys go through. As you go through the planning portion. What have you found is so important to plan for? Let's call it a 14 to 18 year old. Why is it so important for them? And what. What fruit have you seen come out of it? [00:37:37] Speaker A: Yeah. So I'm gonna go backwards just a minute, too, because the very first thing of the day is your gratitude, and we just put in a new field, which is your one win of the day. We want you to end your day with one big win of the day. So you were perfect there, I think, for 14 to 18 year olds. One of the things that, in terms of teams, the things that teams are saying is, and it's the most simplistic part of our planner, we have a word of the week. We have a quote of the week. Those two things have created dialogue and communication amongst teams. I have to talk about what our word of the week is and why is it important and what does it mean. We also have to talk about the quote of the week. I think just in schools and just in society, these things right here and our phones, we've really lost the ability or the willingness to engage in verbal communication, talking to one another. And so almost every team we work with says, I know it's weird, but, like, these are our favorite things so far. And I'm like, isn't it funny that people still enjoy talking to each other and the words, and before you know it, these. But these things carry over, right? Like now all of a sudden, because I've talked to Brian and we've talked about what compassion means or empathy means, whatever our word of the week is now, when we have a conflict, we can resolve it face to face in a way that's, that's dignified and appropriate. And when we're on the field and communication is vital about what's going on, those things are important. That's been the most fruit bearing part of this whole process is really that. But then the other part is the reflection, I think, because I'm a super reflective person, you've heard it. I've aired a lot of my dirty linger already, and that's a skill that a lot of young athletes don't have because they've never really been asked to be reflected. They've just always been told. They've always been told what is going on. Rather than being like, what do you think you can do better? Like, talk to me about what you think you can do better. What did you do well, and when that narrative shifts a little bit between me telling you what you did wrong and you telling me what you can do better, we've spun it and we get the same result. Right? Like, okay, yeah, you know what? I can. I can really be better at my approach to the plate. Like, I'm just a little. I'm rushing. I'm a little too aggressive. I'm swinging at pitches. Instead of me saying you're swinging at all the pitches, you shouldn't be swinging at, you big knucklehead. What can you do? Better. I gotta be a little more patient at the plate and I get the same result, probably a better result. So I think that's another one of the big things that we've, we've really seen from, from teams and coaches. [00:40:07] Speaker B: That's really interesting as well. Let me add this into it. Are you having those conversations during or are you recommending that those conversations are happening during practices? [00:40:18] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:40:20] Speaker B: Pre post or. [00:40:22] Speaker A: Yeah. So we're kind of two faceted here. We. Implementation of our planner is really important. We've only launched since June, so we've seen teams do it really, really well and we've seen teams do it not so well. Like just being honest. You know, the teams that have done it the best always make it part of their system and part of their routine. Like they break, you know, they'll do ten or 15 minutes before practice where they'll sit in a group and they'll talk. Some of them will use it as a leadership tool where they'll have their four captains take teams, take groups and talk. And I love that. I think the other thing is we have a mindset coach on staff who will meet with teams and the biggest, biggest, biggest request. She has a whole menu of things that she can meetings on, but the biggest thing lately is effective communication. What are the communication strategies that we can employ in our team during games? And things like that always comes back to this. Everybody says we have these communication breakdowns during games. I said, well, guess what? It's not because of the game, it's because something is broken down in your practice. You can't just expect those things to. Just what? We met with the mindset coach and they said, we're gonna fix, no, we need to practice this stuff. We need to practice some, some adversity in the, on the diamond or on the basketball court or on the wrestling match so we can practice what it feels like when we're not happy and we're still communicating with each other. So we, we do a lot of it during practice as well. And prior to practice. [00:41:47] Speaker B: I think that is one of the most effective things that I learned in my coaching career was implementation during practice, not prior to or after. Bears so much more fruit because you get your athletes at the best and worst times. If you just got done with a fielding drill and they went one for seven during that fielding drill, you've got a highly emotional kid in that moment and it's like, how can we challenge them right now? What can we do in this very minute? Because this is probably the worst we're ever going to see this kid. I think coaches are scared to do those things because it interrupts the flow that they've. They are trying to create, to create the consistency. But sometimes breaking that can be very important. Wouldn't you agree? [00:42:33] Speaker A: Oh, I agree. I think you said it right. I think. I also think, like, coaches and teachers are scared of what might come out of that. I do some trainings on, like, growing your capacity, and as a second year coach or a third year coach, I would be a little bit hesitant to challenge a kid when they're so elevated. Right. Because what happens if they have an outburst or what happens if they. What happens if they attack me? It's about me. It's not about you. It's not about you. Let's feel good about you. So you can go with this in a way that you're gonna grow. You're gonna grow as a coach, and that athlete's gonna grow as an athlete. And so when I became a much better coach, I did those things right. Like, I would like. Yep. I no take down in a really high stressful practice situation. And I knew. I knew under that kid's breath he was gonna call me a name that he would, and I'm like, it's gonna be what it is, and then I'm gonna go visit it and work on a strategy to deal with it, because those things happen in matches. And if we shy away from them, if we're like, I don't want to make that kid upset, well, they're just gonna explode on the umpire when it really matters. They're gonna explode on the referee when it really matters. And so if you don't teach them to deal with those things, it's not gonna go well. [00:43:41] Speaker B: We used to say 20% to 30% of your practice should have failure. [00:43:45] Speaker A: Yep. [00:43:46] Speaker B: 100% have a failure point inside of that. So that you are really testing who those people are. When things don't go well and that blow up does happen, walk away from the practice with that person and go have a conversation or wait, because sometimes they're going to reach out after practice and say, coach, I'm so sorry. I shouldn't have acted that way. And that's when you find out whether or not you're getting the culture that you want. Going back to what we were talking about earlier. [00:44:09] Speaker A: Exactly. That's really what coaching really is. It's not about the X's and o's. It's about, can you teach in those moments that are stressful, and can you teach in those moments that, you know, will have a lasting impact, and we can't shy away from those. [00:44:21] Speaker B: As coaches, what else do we need to know about your planner, Dan? What else is in there that will inspire people to get online? And we'll talk about how to get it in a little bit here, but I want to know if there's anything else they should know about it. [00:44:32] Speaker A: Yeah, I mean, we have a paper based planner. It's 20 weeks. We have some free journaling in there. We have instructions for everything. And not only do we have, like, these fields, but we give an appendix that gives recommendations. So, like, sometimes if you're doing it by yourself, how do I be a better teammate? And they'll say, look in the appendix, and it'll say, take that person home that you know is struggling. It'll give you recommendations that we think are important. Or, what do we mean? When am I reading? Well, there's an appendix in the back of our top ten favorite books, and that list is always changing. So, like, check out a book that we're talking about or something along those lines. What we found was a lot of athletes really like the paper based planner, but some don't. Some, it ends up in the bottom of their gym bag. And for us, that's money wasted. We created an app. We have a mobile app now where student athletes can get it on their phone. It's on the Google Play Store and the Apple Store. We have a one month and a one year subscription. The thing I love about the app is there's a content library built into it. So, at the bottom, there's a whole playlist of videos that we've recorded with sports psychologists from all over the country, leadership experts, nutritionists. I have a nutritionist from the University of Florida and the Toronto Blue Jays that talks about the importance of pregame eating, that talks about the importance of sleep, that talks about the importance of hydration. So we kind of have a built in tool on the app where it's a one stop shop. So that's really important. And then lastly, I think the thing that I like the most is this is a learning experience for me. You know, as the owner of this thing, I get a chance to go along on the ride, I had a team tell me, we love your app. We love everything about it, but the reality is, some of these things, we're just not gonna do. Like, it's just too busy. Is there a way to hide the fields? And I said, not right now, but I'll go figure it out. So I talk to my developers and we go figure it out. Like, what a great recommendation. I'm learning. Help me. I like it. Someone's like, can you find me a video? This is a great one. I just had an athlete go down with an ACL injury. She's really struggling. Soccer has been her thing forever. I don't know how we're going to. So I found this sports psychologist from the University of Minnesota who was literally in the process of finishing her research on eight things that will dictate whether an athlete comes through a severe injury mentally well and emotionally well. There's a video we literally made for you. And these eight things are, do they keep the community with the team? Are they having open dialogue with their care team? So we put all that stuff out there because people are telling us that they want it. And so for us, you know, that's been fun. So we're excited about all that. [00:47:00] Speaker B: You know, I think this generation's walking away from hardbound books and anything that is tangible. So to put it right in their hands through an app is exactly what they need. And. Yep, not that we want them on their phones longer, but if they're doing the good work on it, I think it's worthy of that. So that's great, Dan. Thanks for sharing that. How. How did they find it? You said it's on. It's on Apple and it's on Google. Where else can they learn more about win the day? [00:47:27] Speaker A: Yeah. Our website, winthedeplanner.com, is active. It has all of our individual purchases. If you're an individual and you want to buy it, it has a link to both stores. If you're a team and you want to buy it, we have bundles there listed you can purchase directly. We can send you an invoice, whatever it is, for your district that you need. Bulk pricing for the basic planners. Individual planners are on Amazon. We try to make it as easy as possible. But in addition to that, our content library and our blog are also both on when thedayplanner.com. So even if you're like, I don't know if this is for me, but I'd love to check out some videos. Go check out some videos. We're in the process, and I don't know if I should say this yet, we're in the process of finishing an AI generated bot that will provide sports mindset training for athletes. So if Brian wants to know, I'm really nervous before a game, you type it in. That bot will read all of our videos and respond to you about how to react under pressure, what videos to watch, what to do. We're, you know, all that stuff's gonna be free at the end of the day. Like, we're in a business, but we're also in a business of, like, helping young adults be the best versions of themselves. So when the dayplanner.com, that's where you can find all of our stuff. [00:48:32] Speaker B: I got some exclusive information on this podcast. [00:48:34] Speaker A: Yes, you did. Yes, you did. Yes, you did. [00:48:37] Speaker B: Love that. Dan, before I let you go, I would love for you to leave something with the audience, whether that's parents, whether that's coaches. What do you want to leave with this audience? What's on your mind, what's on your heart, what's going on? And just something, a token of information that you can give them. [00:48:55] Speaker A: Yeah, I met with a soccer team the other day. I think one of the things that I believe is most important for athletes is never take this time for granted. Your athletic career can be over with a bad step on turf. It could be over when you graduate high school. It could be over when you're done college. These are some of the best times of your lives. And I think if we're not, like, the number one reason that students do athletics is because of fun. And if you're not loving what you're doing, you got to really reevaluate what you're doing. So don't take these moments for granted. You're not going to get this back. Don't live five years down the road. Ten years down the road. Old guys like me would say, I'd give any. You hear it all the time. I'd give anything to do it again. Again. And, you know, if you live where your feet are, make the most of every moment. Love it, enjoy it. Be with your friends. Enjoy the way you guys get to work together as a team, because you don't get a lot of experience in life like this. So enjoy every moment. [00:49:58] Speaker B: Man, what a great message. And fortunately, I think that's for everybody. That's not just for the student athletes. Coaches, you need to enjoy the moment. Parents, you need to enjoy the moment. And then athletes, you need to enjoy the moment. Dan, I can't thank you enough for coming on the podcast today. It was everything I was hoping it would be. And I know it took a little longer to get you on, but so thankful for all that you're doing to improve the incredible lives of these athletes, and thankful for the idea. And you stepping out on a limb in order to make this thing happen. Turn it into something that's tangible for our athletes. So thank you so much, Brian, thank you. [00:50:41] Speaker A: This has been a pleasure. I'm glad we got it done. I've been looking forward to this. So just thank you for the platform and thanks for doing this for student athletes of the world. [00:50:48] Speaker B: Everybody at home, thanks so much for watching another edition of Unleashed Athletics. As I always say, go do the work. Dan, thank you. One more time. And if nothing else, people at least get give it a try. Go on to winthedapelanner.com and let's see if this is the right thing for you. Thanks so much for tuning in.