Episode Transcript
[00:00:06] Welcome to the third edition of Unleashed Athletics.
[00:00:11] I want to start this week with a simple thank you. It's been so fun to get onto social media, Facebook especially this week and hear all the responses to the questions that I put out there. Interacting with you guys has been so much fun. I think we're going to continue to get better in having this conversation by engaging. The engagement was awesome. So thank you so much for all that you do. One of the things that I learned this past week was that your stories are real. Some of you have the most joyous stories and others of you have a ton of hurt from how sports have worked with your son or your daughter and the way coaches have treated them. And I don't think those get to be disregarded. I think those stories are heard and they're valued and we can learn from it. So thank you for your vulnerability in that.
[00:01:02] As we start this week, I want to make sure that we have a basis of understanding and that is that for the longest time we have watched people interact during games with the understanding that there is a barrier. And that barrier is what separates the players, coaches and officials from the fans.
[00:01:26] Unfortunately, I believe that barrier has been broken and that's really what today's conversation is all about. So we are starting with the parent relationship with officials.
[00:01:38] Let me just be very clear. It's got to stop. There shouldn't be a relationship at all with officials. The only conversation that should be happening with officials are with head coaches of each team.
[00:01:53] Your job as parents is not to argue, disagree, scream, banter or threaten. Your job is simply cheer on your athlete. Cheer on the team that they play for and be as positive as you can possibly be. But Brian, there are some really bad officials out there and I wouldn't argue that. But guess what? There are some really bad teams out there and there are some really bad players on those teams. But we're not screaming at those kids. We're not screaming at those coaches or those teams. And I don't think you should be screaming at officials either.
[00:02:32] If you are thinking that that's a little out of context. It really isn't. Because it is your job to make sure that those kids are being loved up. It's not your job to decide whether or not official is good or bad. Your job is to love watching your athlete play and to enjoy the team as a whole with the other parents that are on that team.
[00:03:00] I'm not sure if you realize this, but the number of officials that are walking away from all different sports right now is dropping at such a rapid rate and they're fleeing from the game. And I can guarantee you they're not fleeing because of the players. And if they are, it's a very rare occasion. They're fleeing because they're tired of being paid what is minimum wage or less. Not only to have to officiate the game, but to then be yelled at by coaches, be yelled at by fans. It is a job that's not worth it at the end, you know, just some of the things that they're dealing with. The screaming of fans, threatening fans and coaches who lose their mind when something doesn't go their way. It's just not fun for officials anymore.
[00:03:53] From there, you would get even more upset because those officials quit. A new set of officials come in that have never officiated the game before, and you're upset that you're in a championship game with an official that's only done five games. But guess what? That's on you. You decided that they weren't going to officiate anymore.
[00:04:15] You are making your lives harder. By engaging with the officials.
[00:04:20] You have broken the barrier. You thought a nine year old game or a high school game was the same as booing or yelling at a pro game. And it's just not. The best thing I heard through social media this week was there is a lack of respect for authority.
[00:04:38] Let that sink in for a second.
[00:04:41] There is a lack of respect for authority.
[00:04:48] It's not the players doing that or not very often anyway. It's you, the adult, the one who is supposed to be setting the example.
[00:04:59] We need the adults to control themselves.
[00:05:03] Starts with you, then it goes to the other families on your team, and then it goes to the families on the other team.
[00:05:11] You guys need to hold each other accountable, but don't make the coach do that. And please don't make the officials do that. That's not why they're there. That's not what they get paid to do.
[00:05:24] It's your job. You need to do the work.
[00:05:29] So with that said, here are four things that you can do as a fan in the stand so that you are the best fan in the land. One, you gotta have an attitude of gratitude.
[00:05:42] The way that you come into the game has to have an attitude of gratefulness that your kids are even able to play the game to begin with. Say thank you to the officials. Say thank you to a coach after the game.
[00:05:56] The second thing is you got to be social.
[00:05:59] You have a community of people that decided to play on the same team together. Get to know them, be friends with them, spend time with them, and spend time with your own family. What a great time to be able to do that. The third thing is you got to support the whole team. What an incredible challenge. When your athlete isn't playing, are you able to cheer even louder because of the care that you have for every individual on the team?
[00:06:29] And number four, you got to let your athletes fail.
[00:06:34] You have to allow adversity to strike.
[00:06:39] Officials are a part of that adversity.
[00:06:44] You are a part of that adversity.
[00:06:47] Your son or daughter having a tough game is a part of that adversity. And rather than finding the excuse for why things aren't going well, you simply just need to let them fall and get back up and do it again. One of the greatest lessons that we can learn. So let's not miss those four things that you can do. You can, one, have an attitude of gratitude. Two, be social. Three, support the entire team. And then four, you can let your athletes fail.
[00:07:21] If you do those things, you are going to be such a better fan for this game. You are going to help change the culture that is happening right now, that is making it not fun for anybody, but especially officials.
[00:07:37] And when you do that, team by team, person by person, you will see the culture of the game start to change. But it's got to start with you. Go do the work.
